Sunday, April 16, 2017

Wrigley's last drop of breastmilk

The day my first born son stopped nursing, I remember it, it was December 24, 2011 and he fell asleep in my arms after nursing. I was seven weeks pregnant with my second son. The day my second son stopped nursing, I can't remember it. It was after the new year, 2017. Its 16 days into the New Year now and Wrigley has not nursed for 9 days. the last day I remember he asked for milk, "momma milk, momma milk" or "boob" or "i said I want boob" He is two and half years old, and i'm sad, i'm really sad, I thought it would last forever and it didn't. I was often uneasy when he woke up at night and wanted milk. And, now its over. I feel like I need to write an entire novel about my last time nursing, but I cannot, because I'm having memory loss of all the time we spent together. The last nurse session I remember is him looking at me and saying what sounded like, "Where's the Milk?" And, it felt different, it felt like I was empty. But, I wasn't empty, because the milk was still dripping. I think I knew it was coming to an end soon, so I felt it. That was about January 3rd. I've been waiting to finalize this as I wasn't sure if he would come back for more. Yesterday (1/14/17) was the first time he mentioned something, I was changing and he asked...."Mom, is there milk there?" And, I said, "I don't think so, I think you drank it all." Then he started quietly saying "milk, milk, milk, milk, milk." And, that was it, he didn't try to jump on me to see if I was telling the truth, he just kind of went on to the next toy. This journey has been amazing, I may not be working at my dream job professionally, but I realized that my real job is to be the best mother that I can to my children and that I know I am doing. One of the things that I put my whole entire heart into was nursing both of my boys until they self weaned. This was a huge sacrifice (to say the least), personally, mentally, emotionally and professionally. But, here at the end of the road, I would not change it for anything. I have nursed or been pregnant for the last 5 and half years and I consider myself extremely blessed. In that time, I managed to take several family vacations, pump successfully at work, donate over 100 ounces of milk to a mother in need, run two full marathons, 5 half marathons and many 5k and 10ks. If I can do it so can you. There was blood, sweat, and tears but I made it, and you will too!

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