Breastmilk is precious!

My Breastfeeding struggle- one of the largest things i've learned so far
"Something is wrong with my breastmilk"
I learned that it takes exactly three weeks for baby to become adjusted to "mommy being at work". (well a breastfeeding mommy that is). I say this because at three weeks is when all heck broke loose with my breastfeeding. Here I was complaining because I wasn't pumping enough milk, and because I thought he was feeding too much. Well, that was just petty stuff.


The way my milk drink snuggler looks at
me during breaks in feedings!!
04-26-2012

On Monday, April 16th, marking my third week back at work, Lincoln started to refuse my precious liquid gold pumped milk! My mother called me at work and said "He's not taking your milk, I smelled and tasted it, and it doesn't taste sweet like it usually does?"  OH NO!! I thought- is this the end to my little "milk drunk" snuggler?   What to do? Of course turn to Mr. Google.com himself, the answer to all my questions. (LOL, but really!) What I found was that the problem could be excess lipase and I may have to scold every pumping session of milk or I could risk it going bad within 24 hours.  After turning to my very small breastfeeding support group; my cousin Gracie, my only three friends that I know who breastfeed, Loretta, Tanya, and Shelly; our local La Leche contact, and Similac Strong Moms' hotline, the best information I found was on http://simplyrebekah.com/excess-lipase .  Simply Rebekah was in fact my life saver.

My support group was there for support, but most had never heard of the issue and those that did had very little information. I'm sure they were thinking.. "How weird is she!?" But, I learned the more you share you breastfeeding issues, questions, concerns with other bf mom's the more you learn from one another! After carefully reading Rebekah's article, I found that scalding was likely my answer. So, there I went starting the milk "experiments"....  As if putting a powered pumping machine with plastic breast shields over your nippity nips every two hours while at work isn't enough.... now i have more steps added.

1) once pumping session ends, place milk in bottle warmer, plug in warmer and let the heating begin

2) place thermometer inside milk and wait until the thermometer hits 175 degrees, turn off bottle warmer

3) Move bottle into an ice bath and let milk cool for 5-10 minutes

4) Place milk in refrigerator

As you can see many steps.. and yes, its tiring.. There I go after each pumping session (four times in a work day!) running to the break room to get fresh ice and water, waiting for the thermometor to beep, etc. I broke down and spent $14.99 on a digital thermometer, because it beeps when it gets to 175 degrees, and I don't have to sit and watch it. I would have never known to to solve this issue if it wasn't for my guardian angel, Rebekah! (I mean geeze, even my pediatrician thinks/thought I was crazy!) He said there is no such thing as "excess lipase" and I should not be scolding my milk. And, so I listened and tried not scolding, and he wouldn't take it.. so psssshhht to my pediatrician. He can stick to caring for my baby, but when it comes to boobs, I'll stick to google.com and Simply Rebekah!

my milk drunk snuggler, 04-28-12 (look at his little hands)  

Oh and before I forget, let me mention the infamous "freezer stash". So, of course if he isn't taking my milk, then he's not taking the "stash" either. Gratefully I only had about 27 ounces of precious milk stored (the rest he took prior to me discovering the liapse issue). I've read several other womens' lipase stories and they have had 100's of ounces stashed that had to go to WASTE!! So, I recommend a test run for all breastfeeding moms before they start freezins non stop! So, despite it all, I am one of the lucky ones, indeed. Though, when we get desperate for milk (which is quite often), sometimes he does take milk from my old stash. But it has to be mixed with formula.. so not all 27 ounces was wasted!  So, now I have to scold before I freeze and it will last about two weeks max.

So, if you were not convinced that I am a dedicated breastfeeding mom, I hope your convinced now!  As my mom says, once I put my heart and mind into something, I won't let anything get in the way. The "F" word isn't bad, but I only want to use the formula if I need it! So far he has to take very little or none each day to make up the difference for the amount of milk I pump at work each day (which is about 13 ounces max). But, I try my best to squeeze in pumping sessions whenever possible, because the more liquid gold the better.  The low amount that I pump is a whole other breastfeeding issue, but I am making it work, so that is all that matters.

And, you know the funny thing is that through all of the these recently found struggles, I never once cried! Wowza's I guess that means that post pardum has left this house.. I really feel like I should have been balling my eyes out, but I kept my head up and made it work. But, if I didn't find the details in Rebekah's blog, I think my eyes would have been tear filled for quite some time. So, thanks again to her, and all other women who took the time to write and share about their struggles with lipase or breastfeeding in general. Because, lord knows it is not EASY!

Oh, and you probably are thinking.. what the heck is "excess" Lipase, can it be cured or removed from the body? Well, there is not enough research on it to determine if changing your diet will help, but most moms who tried changing their diet, found that it did not work.. so I'm not abnormal, okay.. : )

Don't worry breastfeeding stories are put to rest for a while, the next post (which is actually almost done) will be all about Lincoln, his growth, his graduation to sleeping in his crib in his room all by himself. And, daddy Graduating back to the bedroom, etc.!

Thanks for listening, and any breastfeeding feedback/ motivation/ cheers are always appreciated!!!

P.S. This post is coming out hand in hand with the controversial "Time" cover page of a 27 year old mother breastfeeding her three year old bub. Do I agree with it? Its a mothers choice; if her bub still wants her milk and she is ok giving it to him, then so be it! It takes a ton of commitment to breastfeed, if she wants to do it for more than 12 months and is able, then good for her. Now, would I do it.. I honestly doubt my boobies will produce for that long! But if I was a mother who had not breastfeed, I am sure I would be like "heck no" but I've been through the experience and I know what it takes, so now I have no bias whatsoever.

Bunnies and Mommy fights at Walgreens...

4.12.12. - Lincoln will be 8 weeks tomorrow (Friday, the 13th) and 2 months this coming Tuesday. (He is two months now!! Wow, and 9 weeks tomorrow, 4.20.12)
6 weeks

Lincoln had his 4th baby shower on March 31st, hosted by my boss and his wife and their house in the Hill Country of Helotes, Texas. We were showered with great gifts and friends, and this time Lincoln was here to enjoy all the goodies. He was so great. He needed to be feed about twice but that was expected. We are so grateful!

I've managed to survive my first week of half days at work (April 9th-13th). The in laws and Aunt Jane were here to take care of Lincoln, April 9th-12th and gave Grandma Helen a break since she would start watching him full time April 16th-20th.  He also started to smile, pretty much as soon as his Grandparents from Indiana arrived.. 04-07-2012 (Chris says he was smiling a little before). He was smiling in his sleep before then, but more noticeable awake smiles came at that time.

Today was the first day Chris took Lincoln to grandmas in the morning (Thursday 4.12.12). He made it OK and he is content and happy to be at grandmas.  It was weird for me, it was the first time since his birth that I was alone at the house without Lincoln or anyone... Odd feeling indeed. I was able to brush my teeth without almost swallowing the toothpaste & take a shower without feeling guilty for taking forever while someone else was carrying him, and hoping he was not hungry! Monday-Wednesday my mom came to our house to watch him. He has been doing great with her, taking about 4-6 pumped 3 ounce bottles per 8am-530pm day.

And, I've been pumping 12 ounces (4 bottles) consistently at work so its great considering I was going to throw the pump out the window when I first started to pump. (I'll tell you the story later about my nervous breakdown with the electric pump) 12 ounces is great since I have enough stored to make up the difference. (DISCLAIMER: as of 4.19.12 pumping has changed for me, will update you on next post, too sad to discuss now and ruin this post) And, the best thing is that I drip about 3 ounces during my feedings once I get home, so I have been saving those as well. I wish someone would have told me this was something I should do, because I would have had a much bigger stash of milk. But, beggers can't be choosers. I will take what I can get! And, trust me EVERY drop counts! We call it liquid gold. Grandma tells Lincoln every time she feeds him, "get ready for liquid gold.." (well she actually sings it to him...) So the kid is probably going to grow up thinking he was really drinking gold! BTW, whomever made up the phrase "no use crying over spilled milk"..is wrong...  If this milk spills, I WILL cry! (please pray that my pumping remains consistent with his feedings!(and that we overcome my current issue))
But, honestly I think the nursing has been the hardest part, especially in the beginning. I was the one that had to be up for his feedings and growth spurts. I really wish someone would have told me about those.. literally feeding every hour for about 12 hours straight.. and not from a bottle straight from my boobs! Ouch.. but now that I know I am mentally prepared!  But now that I am able to pump, I feel a big relief. Don't get me wrong, I love the bonding, I love how he coos and does little squirms at the boob, they are hilarious. He latches and his faces are so cute, its as if he's thinking "this is my food source and no one, I mean no one better mess with them." Its so super adorable!  I think daddy gets jealous..
Enough about me and my milk filled boobs.. Oh wait one more thing.. Lincoln found daddys' nipple, its kind of hilarious to watch him when he's about to start a feed and Chris is holding him.. he has this crazy head bop and his mouth is wide open.. I really need to get it on videocamera.

Easter Sunday, finally I get to be held by Grandma...look at his little hand!

And now, for the phrase, I never thought i'd be able to live the day to say.. ta dah--- He's been doing awesome at nights!  Since the arrival of Chris' parents & Tia Jane (March 31st) he's started a night sleeping trend, he will sleep 3-5.5 hours starting anywhere from 815pm-11pm, and then wake up again between 2am-3am and sleep until 530am-630am, which works excellent for our work schedules!
Still not sleeping 8 hours, but according to books that I've read, "through the night" for a newborn generally means 5-5.5hours, which he is doing. I still want to cry when I hear babies younger than him are sleeping 8 hours. I mean hello, don't  they need go potty and need a diaper change at least if they are not hungry? But I guess some people are not as concerned with changing them quickly as I am. And, perhaps I will get over that too.. i just feel so bad when his little bottom is red, and I blame myself! (note, ANOTHER growth spurt took place after I wrote this, JINX!) Boy was it a tough one, but atleast it was on the weekend, and its over now)

The family on Easter Sunday, 4-5-2012 (Lincolns first easter)

Lincoln also did excellent on Easter Sunday (04.15.12). He slept all through church, ate when we got home and was ready for his day at Grandmas' with all his friends! Though our journey to grandmas' took longer because we had to stop at Walgreens to pick up sodas and bread, and mommy almost fought with the ladies in line in front of her. A lady had coke zeros' and they wouldnt scan, and the cashier made everyone wait until the manager came to key in a certain key stroke, so the line didn't go quickly. I was so upset that I left the line and went to another. BUt again I picked the wrong line. I got over it, but I was angry. Its funny how every precious moment seems so much more valuable once you have a little one!   We made it to grandmas and it felt like people needed to take numbers to hold him. It was great, he loved every minute of it, and did not cry while being held in different hands. And, of course Mommy and Daddy loved it as we were able to breathe just a bit.. ! I couldn't even finish a full feeding because after one boob, someone wanted to hold him, he would last about an hour then get hungry again. So, there I was feeding him every hour, but it worked out well so that everyone held him when he was content!

More to follow, decided to post, before none of this makes sense anymore. Lincoln loves you all, please keep us in your prayers that I figure out my current issue.. UGH, I'm seriously having a case of WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAPPEN TO ME!!! I mean this is a VERY RARE issue and of course, yours truly is on the list.. But, like Grandma Helen says, God does not give you anything you can't handle, and Breastfeeding is something that I put my whole heart into, so I'm not going to let this get in the way of it. (details to follow, too much to write and its not my favorite subject right now)

Next Post: Cathy's issue discussed and LINCOLNS first FIESTA!!

Bottle up! 26.2 miles at last: mommy conquered her first marathon

I conquered motherhoods' first 26.2 and then some!

Miles 18-26.2

The truth is it does in fact get better: not the best yet, but better.

5 weeks- Today (3-24-12) I learned a good lesson: stop worrying about learning parenting from what you read or hear, develop your own pattern and learn from your own experiences. If you keep trying to grow through the advice of others- you will never find your own path. Do not get me wrong, the advice I've read and learned from others is great, but it does complicate things. I've always been a person to set an example for others to follow and I'm not sure how I let parenting get in the way of that. Perhaps because I had zero practice, and thought I needed to be the poster mom for "what to expect as a parent"... Let's face it I'm used to being the poster child for everything else in my immediate family; I'm the runner, I'm the one who went thousands of miles away for college and conquered; I'm the one married through the church; I'm the one who always listened to my parents :), etc.

I am a poster mom, no matter what anyone says!

So why can't I be the poster mom? Well the truth is  I can- but in my own way. Not neccessarily like the SUPER moms whose kids slept 8 hours after month one; the moms who were able to be up and running errands with their newborn as of three days old; the mom who can pump 5 ounces out of each of her boobs without even trying; the mom who can hold their crying baby and in less than 30 seconds they are soothed, back in their crib and asleep!!!! The trick is to "trust my instinct"...  I think this is the best advice ever for new mothers especially.

all bundled up March 10, 2012, 3 weeks 1 day

Because frankly, when we hear the famous words, "it gets better" it only makes us more deliroius as we anxiously await this "holy day" of it "getting better"! I finally stopped waiting and instead am taking each day at a time and trusting my own instinct. After all, I am his mother- the one who carried him for 39 weeks- so I should know best, right?

Trusting your instinct also comes into play in the marathon world, as you are the one that knows your body and how much running you can handle! If you need to stop, you stop. If you need water, you get water. If you need a stretch you stretch.

Lincoln after he was put to sleep "the Cathy way"

So it relates to the mommy world too, if baby cries and I can't figure it out, I put him down for a while and access the situation. If baby keeps crying and I know he doesn't have a case of the six signs: (hungry, dirty diaper, needs swaddled, too hot, too cold, sleepy) .. I then start crazy dancing with him; he has five favorite songs. (No Te Veo, The Time, My Humps, She's like Texas, and The Lazy Song)  If this doesn't quiet him, I change his clothes, brush his hair and sing to him very loudly. By this time, he is so traumatized at how crazy I am that he usually gets calm. Perhaps because he is in complete shock. Whatever the case, he's officially soothed! This is a big accomplishment; soothing my child "the Cathy way"!  And, moms all around the world have their own ways too..

For most I'm sure its much easier but oh well...I am the mom who discovered that retail therapy does work. I am the mom who found the equation to get diapers for less than 4 cents each (cvs and diapers.com). Ask me about my algebra math tricks that got me the deal and I will be happy to share. 

I am however, still searching for getting the of so magical, getting to sleep quick potion (for myself that is).  I had a case of the "how come noone ever told me blues" this made me sad:

How come no one every told me:

1. Bowel movements after C section are never the same
2. Back aches from "hell" literally




 "milk drunk" state of mind a breastfeed baby gets in after they are fed!


3. And, CLUSTER FEEDS- Lincoln had his first (after I realized what it was it was probably his 2nd or third) cluster feed also known as growth spurt on Sunday, March 11th. (3 weeks, 2 days young) He literally was on the boob every hour for 24 hours! I was freaked out, I thought my milk wasn't getting to him, but later after speaking with a lactation consultant I found out that "growth spurts/ cluster feeds" are normal. And they happen at at least four times by the time he is two months. Luckily its over now and I know what to expect. But I really wish i knew these existed. Talk about sore boobs!
4. I wish I knew that breasfeeding the first baby is the hardest and it is OK to pump and give daddy bottles for at least one night in the beginning so mommy can rest. But noooo there I was solely breastfeeding all the way through even through turmoil, a big huge cut on my tummy and MAJOR sleep deprivation. If you had a csection and its your first baby, and your nursing, bottle up, I didn't but I will next time if neccessary..
5. (more to follow) there is so much I wish I would have known!

3-12-12- (3 weeks, 3 days) First trip to grandmas



First outing on Friday night at Don Pedros with grandma! 3-16-2012, 4 weeks!



3-16-2012 4 weeks- I made it to the finish and decided to celebrate with our first Friday night outing. I would have much rather went home to sleep but I decided against. We went to Don Pedros with the family. Lincoln behaved wonderfully, he soaked in the loud sounds of the Mariachis, enjoyed the smells of homemade Mexican food, and did not get scared when the" Queso Flameado" arrived at the table. He was bright eyed and bushy tailed starring at all the southside action taking place around him!

Latest appointment, Friday March 23rd, I weighed 156lbs, apparently only lost two pounds in two weeks but I know I definetely have lost inches around my waist since I can now fit into to my fat pre preggo clothes. But, hey atleast I can forego the waistbands!

Advice to the advice givers: Its better not to hear "it gets better" because then you want it to happen quickly (especially if you have an ounce of overachiever blood) and I have many ounces of it... Its best to say, "I will pray for you and can't wait to hear how it goes." Because lord knows this girl needed the prayers. I would not have made it this far without the prayers and guidance of my friends and family; but again I must give major kudos to my mom and Chris! They are the bestest ever.

(note, this blog was actually started and completed about two or more weeks ago, so the next one should, and i say should be coming soon)